No one swoons over a bridge episode -- the kind of story that serves to move from the set-up to the climax -- but they're often necessary to build a compelling story. Last week saw more bridges than Venice, with arcs being moved into place for their storytellers to deliver the Big Punch. Thankfully, the venerable Dark X-Men stepped up with a Big Reveal to keep adventure-seekers sated.Click on the thumbnails for a full-page excerpt.

To the gates of Hell... or Bibb County, Georgia... whichever is closer...

Strange #3

Dr. Strange continues on his Strange journey with his new apprentice -- this time to Bibb County, Georgia, home of the Little Miss Buttermilk Pageant, or, in the words of Laroximous Boneflayer:

Boneflayer: It is the dance of the damned. The grotesque flailing of a dozen garishly decorated subjects performing for the amusement of their twisted elders...
Casey: Oh, dear God...
Dr. Strange: How old are these children?
Boneflayer: Eight going on twenty-two.

There's a really great concept at work in this story. Boneflayer is your typical make-a-promise-and-steal-your-soul demon. The villain of the story is Virilian, a demon in the same trade who is literally putting Boneflayer out of business by dealing in volume. He makes the same soul-stealing deal, but with dozens at a time, stocking souls even before the death of the owners. Boneflayer's digust at this upstart is a terrific analogy to the globalization of the world economy. In Boneflayer's words: "That's deregulation for you. That's what created soul poachers like Virilian and killed this whole business. Who can compete?" See, Virilian is the Sam's Club of soul-stealing and Boneflayer is the mom-and-pop corner store: "I used to keep mine in a nice jar. With a ribbon."

Quiet Rhino

Amazing Spider-Man #617

After the consecutive rumpuses that The Gauntlet has delivered, the Rhino arc was kind of a refreshing change-up. There's a new, souped-up Rhino -- courtesy of Doctor Trauma -- who has to "ascend" by defeating the original Rhino -- ex-con Aleksei Sytsevich who has been freed of his super-suit by S.H.I.E.L.D. in a post-Registration Act plea bargain. And Aleksei has found love. So the fight that New Rhino wants simply isn't going to happen. But that doesn't mean he can't try -- as he crashes a casino employs Aleksei in the middle of an event being covered by the Front Line's Norah Winters and her "photomonkey," Peter Parker.

Sytsevich: You want to be the Rhino? You are the Rhino. Leave before anyone is hurt. Leave an old man be. Please.
Norah (to Spider-man): Shouldn't you, like, be smashing other people's property over his head to no effect?
Spidey: You're not an easy person to like.
Norah: The gifted rarely are.

Tell me about it.

Getting Catty...

Batman: The Widening Gyre #4

Selina "Catewoman" Kyle has found out that Bruce Wayne has been spending an inordinate amount of time with his new squeeze Silver St. Cloud. This drives her to make a move to mark her territory. If she's going to lose Bruce to the socialite blonde, she's not going down without a fight. So she breaks out the big guns.

Her cape?

Selina: So I'm here to ask you a question. And I'm hoping I've meant enough to you over the years that you'll be totally honest with me. Because if there's any shot whatsoever, I'm willing to fight for what I want. I'm willing to stop playing games and grow up. I mean, I actually dug up an old costume I barely ever wore, just because once, a long time ago, you said I looked good in a cape.
Batman: Ask your question, Selina.
Selina: Bruce... are you... Are you in l...

...aaaaaaaaand Batlips.

It was a nice cape.

Someone's spent a little too much time at Renn Faire

Batgirl #6

Meanwhile, in a story that hopefully won't end in batlips, a prepubescent Robin squares off against Batgirl as former-Robin Batman and former-Batgirl Oracle look on.

Batgirl: O? If I fight back, is that considered child abuse?
Robin: Have at thee, wench!
Oracle: This isn't going to end well... wait -- did he just switch to pirate?
Batgirl: I think it's more... musketeer?

The tussle brings back memories for Batman and Oracle.

Oracle: There was a time when another Batgirl and Robin didn't see eye-to-eye, you know.
Batman: Feels like a lifetime ago, doesn't it. Given the current players, I'm pretty sure the comparison just turned my stomach.
Oracle: Regretting it here, too.

Cream and sugar for the man in the iron mask..?

Spider-Man and the Secret Wars #2

In a nicely executed bridge episode, Paul Tobin delivers exactly the thing that held the most promise for this series -- the untold stories of the classic Secret Wars series. In this case, we find out how Dr. Doom chose the two Denverites he turned into Volcana and Titania. As a group of marauding aliens co-habiting Battleword descend on uprooted Denver, Dr. Doom joins Ben Grimm, Spidey and a band of civilians in defending the much-more-than-mile-high city. Marsha Rosenberg and Mary MacPherran stood out not in their battle-abilities, but rather in their willingness to fight despite their complete lack thereof.

Dr. Doom: Marsha Rosenberg. Mary MacPherran. You will come with me. You have been chosen.
Marsha: But we... we weren'y strong enough to fight.
Doom: And yet, the two of you did fight. Your current frailty is no matter. I can provide that power, now that you two9 have shown your desire to fight.

And how did Victor narrow down the field to get to the two lucky winners? Through a series of coffee-clatches around town. So many, that even today you can walk into almost any Denver diner and hear the old guy in the corner booth regaling his cronies with that old story about his brunch with Doom.

Every time you point a finger, you have three fingers pointing right to the bat on your chest

Batman #695

The highlight of this bridge issue was so brief, I'll bet you missed it. Dick "Batman" Grayson reflects during a scrap with the new Reaper.

Batman: First Black Mask and now the Reaper. can't these guys make up new monikers for themselves?

I should be the one to talk, right?

Main that tune

Secret Six #17

As the Secret Six continue to square off against the Suicide Squad, Ragdoll gets his twisted keister saved from Virtuosa by the power of the Banshee.

Banshee: If anyone is a mistress of ddeath, child, it is me. The 'doll is an annoying little degenerate, Virtuosa...
Ragdoll: If I still had my -- you know -- I'm certain they'd be ruptured.
Banshee: ...but he is our annoying little degenerate. If someone is to degrade and torture him, it will be us. Most likely me.
Ragdoll: I adore you, Jeanette. Have I said that, lately?

Big Reveal of the Week

Dark X-Men #3

For the week's Big Reveal we turn to the pages of Dark X-Men, in which super-powerful Nate "X-Man" Grey, manifests himself on the physical plane to wreak havok with Norman Osborn's Dark Reign plans. By the end of the brouhaha, Norman, in his Iron Patroit armor, squares off against X-Man. And in the end, Osborn stands above smoldering, skeletal remains: "My sensors indicate that was him... dying." Later, Mystique confronts Osborn in his office

Mystique: I want the explosives removed from my nervous system. I want a jet with room for two and flight clearance for anywhere. And after that -- I want you to exhibit a complete lack of interest in my affairs.
Osborn: What on Earth...? Why ever should I give you that?
Mystique: Because I'm an expert in people pretending to be other people. And I'm still wearing my psychic baffles. So I feel quite safe. And I think your relative stealth right now means you need to keep what you've done a secret --

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A Scanner Dorkly: Jan. 21, 2010

in Best/Worst of the Week by Guigar

Thursday, January 21, 2010 - 12:00 AM