A Scanner Dorkly: Jan. 14, 2010 (1 comments)
A Scanner Dorkly: Jan. 14, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010 - 12:00 AM
|Getting back on track after the Diamond Comics Distributors'-imposed holiday break, it seems we have a bit of catching-up to do. The JSA All-Stars are experiencing growing pains (not to mention a dangerous stalker with a thing for the teenage Stargirl) and over in the Marvel Universe, Norman Osborn's Seige unfolds. Oh, and if the Secret Six want to keep Deadshot, they're going to have to fight Amanda Waller (and the Suicide Squad) for him. Click on the thumbnails for a full-page excerpt.|
Don't Do Anything I Wouldn't Do...
Secret Six #67
The stripper, Liana, who reminds Scandal Savage of her long-lost Knockout arrives to take Scandal on a coffee-and-a-movie night, but, of course, Scandal isn't finished powdering her buttonlike nose, so Bane invites the young lady into the parlor for a bit of conversation.
Bane: We begin. You are a dancer.
Liana: Weel, yes. I work at Superiors, it's a very nice--
Bane: --and as a dancer, you remove your clothing, is this correct?
Bane: We'll come back to that. This "movie." you are going to see. What rating is it?
Liana: What? Um, PG, I think. It's animated.
Bane: I feel I must ask. What exactly are your intentions with my... with the girl.
Liana: My "intentions?" It's just a date. And who are you anyway? Are you her big brother or something?
Bane: Now, regarding your sexual history. I have provided a pad and pen. Please provide a list of all known diseases and sexual partners.
Ragdoll: Oh, my, look at the time! Bane, I think it's well past time that you and I... Oh, ate dinner or pet my monkeys or something, immediately. What do you say, big fella?
Bane: I'm not quite finished.
Scandal: And yet you are.
You can imagine the speech they're gonna get before prom night.
Isn't that an oxymoron?
JSA All-Stars #2
It looks as if powerhouse Johnny Sorrow has a penchant for the postpubescent protagonist, and he has procured the power of the Injustice Society to help perform his plot.
The Injustice Society -- especially this latest Icicle-Tigress-anchored version -- is one of my all-time favorite super-villain teams, so I'm very excited about this turn.
Meanwhile, Power Girl and Magog are still grappling for power within the leadership of the All-Stars, so they wind up battling each other as much as they battle the I.S.
But for me the highlight of the issue was Hourman's choice of words in summing up Johnny Sorrow's intentions towards Stargirl:
...Whatever freakishly inappropriate thing it is, he's not gonna get it...
...And don't forget the "speak softly" part...
Meanwhile in Broxton, Oklahoma -- very near to where Asgard currently resides on Earth -- Dr. Donald Blake (the alter ego of the mighty Thor) helps nurse Tony "Iron Man" Stark back to health.
So, when Norman brings his top fire power to the Sooner state to go toe-to-toe with the Asgardians, it fairly rattles the doilies off Blake's easy chair. Former S.H.I.E.L.D. director, Maria Hill (who is also helping nurse Stark), gives Blake the bad news:
Maria Hill: It's Osborn. he's here for Stark.
Donald Blake: Maybe. But if he was here for Stark, he'd be here, He's attacking Asgard.
Hill: Well, that answers the question of how nuts he is...
Blake: You listen to me, Hill... You quickly and very quietly take Tony Stark and get out of here. As far from this place as you possibly can. You don't stop. For anything. If Tony resists, you knock him out.
Hill: What are you going to do?
(Blake leaves, carrying the wooden cane that allows him to transform into his thunderbolt-tossing better half.)
Hill: You're gonna need a bigger stick.
Blackest Night Wonder Woman #2
As Wonder Woman grapples with her transformation into a Black Lantern zombie creature, she finds that only love can set her free (and grant her the only costume more revealing than her star-spangled skivvies -- that of the Star Sapphires). And whose love finally breaks the magic spell? That of her sister Donna? Her half-sister, Cassie? Her mother? A certain steely-eyed Kryptonian?
Re: A Scanner Dorkly: Jan. 14, 2010 (Score: 1)
posted Tuesday, January 19, 2010 - 03:25 PM (#51261
And the Secret Six line really does state it best:
"I hope her intentions are purely carnal."
"So, we can skip the movie then?"
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