Scanner Dorkly: Dec. 24 (2 comments)
Scanner Dorkly: Dec. 24
Thursday, December 24, 2009 - 12:00 AM
|Remember classic Saturday Night Live? Gilda Radner had a character -- Emily Litella -- who would deliver lengthy, spirited editorials based on misinterpreted information? She once presented a passionate defense of "violins on television," for example. After one of her typical orations, Jane |Pauley Curtain would politely suggest that Emily had missed the point. At which point, Ms Litella would smile meekly into the camera and chirp: "Never mind." After reading JLA #40 -- and remembering my impassioned obituary for my beloved Plastic Man -- all I can say is: "Never mind." Here are some more highlights. Click on the thumbnails for a full-page excerpt.
Plastic Man is Back!
After watching Vixen injure a Black Lantern by channeling the power of an anglerfish, a not-dead-yet Plastic Man hatches a scheme with his also-not-dead-yet teammates.
Plastic Man: My lens. My eye lens! Pull it... stretch it. It'll magnify Mari's light.
Now you gotta admit. That was pretty darned creative.
Sometimes a Musk Rifle is Just a Musk Rifle
Power Girl #7
Not-Guigar-relative Jimmy Palmiotti launched into another lighthearted story arc in the seventh Power Girl installment. Hopelessly-lost-in-the-Seventies Vartox sees his world fall victim to an evil contraceptive bomb, rendering all of its inhabitants sterile. That leaves the classic Superman foe with only one option: Find a suitable female to keep his race from dying. That female, of course, is Power Girl. He rockets to Earth (in a head-shaped spacecraft), and he aims his "seduction-musk rifle" at the heroine -- who is in the midst of a team-up with Dr. Mid-Nite.
Mid-Nite: Should I point out the obvious metaphor of the gun?
Power Girl: I'd rather you didn't.
...Smells funny... like burnt armpit hair and elephant urine...
Mid-Nite: I smell something differ... (passes out)
Power Girl: Doc, are you okay? Talk to me!.
Vartox: Bask in the seduction musk distilled from tears of the ghost poets of Dimension Seven!
Power Girl: What have you done to him?
Vartox: Hmnn, the male wasn't supposed to inhale the seduction musk. He might be dead. Or blind. Or sleeping. Vartox isn't sure.
Power Girl: I can hear his heart beating! He's already blind! What did you do?
Vartox: He's alive. Excellent. Let's move along with the courtship.
Power Girl: There's no courtship, you freak! I am not interested.
Vartox: She's immune to the musk...
Power Girl: Wait... you shot cologne at me?.
Vartox: It should have made you more accessible.
Dear Trapster... I Never Thought I'd Write a Letter Like This...
Amazing Spider-Man #615
The Sandman arc in the "Gauntlet" story has kicked off with a terrific mystery for the Web-head to solve. He has to determine how evidence in three, seemingly unrelated, murders were removed from a locked compartment -- and clear the main suspect, a friend of Peter Parker. As he investigates the individual murders, he discovers that one of them, Alma Alvarado, has a real thing for bad boys. Professional ones...
Spider-Man: Alma's got some real winners among her pals. Trapster? C'mon, alma, I never got the chance to meet you... but girl, you coulda done better.
Check out the scene as Spider-Man examine's Alma's vanity. It's a veritable whos's-who of Spidey foes -- from the big guns to the small fry.
And... over to the side, praying hard... an angel? A nun? A saint?
From the looks of her wall-mates... I'd be praying, too.
Messing With Norman's Head
Dark Avengers #12
Victoria Hand, under the auspices of a false surrender, convinces Molecule Man to reconstruct all of the dark Avengers he obliterated in Issue 11. In the course of reconstructing Norman Osborn, Molecule Man mentions in passing something that's sure to come into play as Dark Reign reaches its conclusion.
Molecule Man: I told you... I rearranged a couple molecules in his brain.
Molecule Man: Just a couple. That's all it takes. (Really.)
Hand: Put them back!
Molecule Man: I did. Whether he has the capacity to pull himself together is his concern. I can't be held responsible for everything.
Shoulda Taken That Left Turn in Albuquerque
Deadpool: Merc With A Mouth #6
As Deadpool crash-lands in a swamp, the zombie-head-of-Deadpool-from-another-dimension springs forward and delivers a line that warmed the hearts of geezers from coast to coast.
Zombie-head-of-Deadpool-from-another-dimension: Pismo Beach and all the clams you can eat!
Re: Scanner Dorkly: Dec. 24 (Score: 1)
posted Thursday, December 24, 2009 - 12:32 AM (#50615
You know, I think Guy Gardner once put his finger over Power Girl's mouth to shush her once.
(Johnny Dangerously FTW!)
Re: Scanner Dorkly: Dec. 24 (Score: 1)
posted Thursday, December 24, 2009 - 11:04 PM (#50623
In Response to abelundercity (#50615):
I love all the Zardoz Gags in the PeeGee Book. It's a great read.
Who you calling a geezer!
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