On the week of my older son's tenth birthday, here's a look at some of his best appearances on my Twitter feed this year.
My 9yo, upon being accidentally walked-in on in the bathroom by his little brother: "Security Breach!"
From my 9yo: You know how I do things happy and cheerful? You should try that on your next podcast.
9yo: I was watching YouTube on my Nook and I saw something gross. I took care of it do you won't have to see it. Me, nervous: What was it? Him: Pancake syrup. But it washed right off.
Early Fathers Day gift from my 9yo, with a dead-on caricature of his dad. I know where he got the Spelling gene. http://t.co/S4UBf1V0
"They say there's no magic in the world, but here we are with water floating over our heads." My 9yo, pointing to some clouds.
My 9yo, who has a small scratch on his nose, vowed not to go swimming in salt water "until this thing is taken care of." Because of sharks.
My 9yo's teacher changed the seating chart, and he's upset about being separated from Hayden: "He and I, we understand comedy."
My 9yo, seeing a "Meet Singles in Your Area" ads on my browser, in a perfect Chandler Bing voice: "Dad, are you TRYING to get a divorce?"
My 9yo son helped me write a valentine to my wife. http://t.co/65v7xCUr
My 9yo, speaking about the Prom: "Well... if I *do* go, it's only going to be for the refreshments..."
Me: Is that the girl who was chasing you on the playground? My 9yo: Yeah. (Smiles.) She's very speedy.
When Gargamel told Azriel "I wish I could quit you," in Smurfs I roared. Then my 9yo asked "Why is that funny?"
The 9yo just walked in and told his mother: "I'm barely holding it together here."
Meanwhile, my 9yo reduces the Superman origins to a single splash page. http://t.co/u7CSGMSR
"[Marley:] 'I have sat invisible beside you many a day.' It was not an agreeable idea. Scrooge shivered..." My 9yo: "Even in the bathroom?!"
My 9yo's secret to his newfound math success. A Zatanna-esque magic spell on the back of his test. http://t.co/XLRO2aV5
Things my 9yo is thankful for, Part Two. http://t.co/DU0HJpgs
What my 9yo is thankful for. Part One. http://t.co/zRJQV3dJ
Upon hearing my suggestion to read the "Moby Dick" graphic novel to his younger brother, my 9yo: "Oh YEAH, it's a bloody tale!"
Overheard during a heated argument among my 9yo and his friends: "I think we're all better than this."
After forgetting for the 3rd time, my 9yo proudly announced his homework was in his backpack, "Now, If I could remember where I put my coat"
More highlights from the three 9yos watching Thor: Boy 1: "She's kooky." Boy 2: "And she has a taser." (On the little sister)
Highlights from the three 9yos watching Thor: "He hibernates. Like a bear." (On the Odinsleep)
My 9yo was impressed that I won the Stanley Cup http://t.co/LjlAmli